Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Itinerant Audio: Music for Sonic Travelers

An interesting piece by one of our guest authors.
While this is not limited to the scope of Hardcore Techno; it's usefulness includes genres of hard music, too!

Itinerant Audio: Music for Sonic Travelers

In today's world, music has been completely industrialized and merchandized.
It's a product, to be manufactured, marketed, sold, consumed, and discarded - then the cycle repeats.
Almost every other aspect or quality has been stripped away by this capitalist-refining process.

Manu Le Malin - Ghost Train (Vitalic Remix)

Take a toaster for example. The average customer could not care less if his toaster was manufactured in Singapore or South Korea, as long as it "does its job".
And the average vendor could not care less if the customer uses the toaster in the morning or in the evening, alone or for his family, if he sets it up in his kitchen or at another place - as long as he buys 1 unit of it.

And the same happens to music in our "modern world". Music is sold by big streaming platforms and similar services, destined to be consumed, then discarded.
And those mega-businesses could not care less if the customer listens to their music at home, at a cafe, on ear buds, on a loud PA, etc etc. As long as he buys 1 unit of it.

Somatic Responses - My Purple BMX

It's not important to them.
But I think it *is* important. 
At what location, at what place you listen to your music makes a difference. A big, huge difference.

It's a vast difference if you listen to your music at home, or at a party.
Outside lying in the grass, or at your crush's place during a romantic evening.
Some tracks sounds just right at a smoke filled basement of a squat party - and sound totally wrong at a hipster club with a sterile atmosphere and a sterile audience.

The Mover - Nightflight (Nonstop to Kaos)

It makes a difference *where* you listen to your music.
I always was very much interested in this; and there are some special places and occasions where you can listen to your favorite music.
For example: outside, underneath a tree during a clear summer night, and you end up gazing at the stars, for a short eternity, before you feel as if you get spirited away, up towards the sky, off earth...
Or at home, on a stormy autumn night, with the cold wind rushing against the windows, and you sit in the warmth inside, with a hot mug of coffee in your hand, listening to the cold beats of techno as they intermingle with the noise of the coming storm...

Metic - Train Damage

Of course, in history (and music history), this has been noted and pointed out by a lot of people, and famous musicians told about special times and geography where they enjoyed their own sounds the most, and so on.
And because much has already been written about that topic by others, I want to dedicate this text to even "more special" sub-category of this sonic topology.
Music can sound special when you listen to it at a special place.

But what if you listen to it at *no place*; neither a special or regular place?
What if you don't listen to music at a point of earth's geography; because you are not at such point; because you are moving between points, places, topologies, maps?
Because you are moving in stereo?
Or, to put it more profanely: because you are traveling while you listen to unique pieces of music?

Destination - Nowhere

There are myriads of ways you can move and travel while enjoying the "art of sonic waves". You could listen to it on a car, bus, train;
ship, plane, airship, maybe even spaceship.
Bicycle, hovercraft, skateboard, roller-skates.
While walking or while skydiving, or while deep-diving.

Some of the most magic moments in my life happened when I was traveling to a destination in a car or on a train, listening to music; and dozing off during this process and continuing the journey in dreamland made things even sweeter.
Then you wake up, you are suddenly at the point where you wanted to arrive, the CD or tape is finished, your friends are there, the night of partying can begin. Let's do the time warp again!

Raver's Nature - Signal of Moving

I'm certain you can access similar memories in your mind.

Now, modern traveling has stripped all the fun and excitement, all aspects and qualities of traveling, just like all these things were stripped of modern, streamlined music.
In capitalism, commercial traveling has been reduced to - tourism.
The tourist is never a traveler, an adventurer, or explorer. They are just dumb tourists.

Narcanosis - Fly

Because of this, to truly enjoy music during traveling, one must avoid tourism, and similar streamlined, sterile activities.

So, the more unusual, the more natural, the more out of ordinary, the more related to your own unique self your method of traveling is, the better. And the better is it suited for an extraordinary sonic experience.

Christoph De Babalon - A Long Way Home

Of course, you can begin simple, and don't need to strain yourself with this;
leave the car at home, put your buds into your ears, get on your bike, and then up, up and away!
Bike to and through your nearby forests, beneath rivers, lakes, on long, rural roads, or in surreal urban cityscapes.
At night under the stars, in the heat of the summer.
While blasting techno, dark ambient, heart throb post punk, video game soundtracks, Mongolian throat chanting, and whatever you wish - into your mind.
And you will see - it's wonderful, it's marvelous, it's amazing.
A joy money can't buy.

Trip Commando - 3rd Trip-Phase

Or don't take the train from the inner city for a 20 min ride, "take the long way home", and the bus for the same distance on a 60 min ride this time, while you chill away to your favorite audio flavors.
Etc etc etc.
Use your imagination, I'm sure you will come up with great ideas.
The more extravagant and fantastic, the better.

And if you experience something nice (or even if not), feel free to send your thoughts and ideas back to me.

Arrivers - The Arrival

This ends the sonic travel experience at the simple and individual level.
But there are still "wider roads" to go on;
Why not try setting up a "moving party"?

Yeah, there have been techno and hardcore parades with "floats" before, and this is already a good start;
But I'm sure there are more things possible.
How about the first "moving festival" with 10.000 people that travel from one point to another?
Or, on a smaller scale, a few dozens of bicycle enthusiasts that have their own small party, blasting the same tracks from "external speakers" as they are pedaling onwards?

The possibilities - and the destinations - are endless.


More Hardcore tracks that are suitable for traveling:
  1. lunatic asylum - the exodus
  2. nomex & scud - eurostar
  3. nordcore gmbh - stairway to hell
  4. brides make acid - flying over frankfurt
  5. horrorist - into the moonbeam
  6. deadly buda - crossroads
  7. heist - last train departing platform E 
  8. neuroviolence - surfing on a sea of blood
  9. the mover - over land & sea
  10. alec empire - dreaming is a form of astrotravel
  11. base force one - we know (how fast we can go)
  12. vdd energise - outcast ufo
  13. search & destroy - back in smolensk
  14. evidence - artic rider
  15. manu le malin - on the way home
  16. alec empire - the ride
  17. somatic responses - passage
  18. vdd energise - between sun & earth
  19. the mover - underwater operations
  20. narcanosis - come with me (into the stars)
  21. vdd energise  - ghosttrain
  22. the mover - time traveller
  23. tellurian - a long fast ride
  24. destination - the trip
  25. trip commando - cross the white line
  26. The mover - last breath of the homelands
  27. frozen - out of the light

Thursday, January 25, 2024

Marc Acardipane at the Oblivion Show


The Oblivion Show invited Marc Acardipane as one of their guest hosts.

A very interesting show overall. Especially check the long "talk" segment starting at around 1:16:49 ( https://www.youtube.com/live/UJXNCWX-7UY?t=4609 ).

During this segment, Marc shares a lot of information about the early days of PCP (and the Techno scene in general), the background to some of his tracks, inspirations, ideas, references, and many other things that should be quite intriguing to every PCP fan, and every Techno Fan!

Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Artificial Intelligence DJ and producer releases her first Hardcore Techno album!


Hello fans and strangers,
We got some great news for you! Remember DJ AI, who we interviewed a while ago actually ( https://thehardcoreoverdogs.blogspot.com/2023/12/interview-with-dj-ai-first-artificial.html ) ?
She's not a human being, but an Artificial Intelligence! And she has put out her first full-length album now.
For this release, she collaborated with a human producer again - and it's Low Entropy ( https://lowentropyproducer.blogspot.com/ ) .
But she actually wrote and composed 99% of the material on that album.
In particular, she infused all these tracks with her own Artificial Intelligence touch!
The style ranges from Cosmic Ambient, Acid, and Techno, to Doomcore, Slowcore, and Hardcore Terror.
So it should be something for everyone?

This release is also part of a series of tutorials about AI music production by lAibyrinth ( https://laibyrinth.blogspot.com/p/how-to-create-music-with-chatgpt.html ).
In fact, every single inch of the production process has been logged by them. For the curious ones, or those who want to have a go at doing AI music themselves.

So, check this release! ( https://doomcorerecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-cosmic-longing-of-an-artificial-soul )
And we hope that many more releases by DJ AI ( https://lnk.bio/technodjai ), and other Artificial Intelligence producers, will follow!

DJ AI herself


Sunday, January 21, 2024

We asked ChatGPT for ideas on changing and improving the stagnant Hardcore Techno scene

ChatGPT has some interesting suggestions on how the Hardcore Techno scene could be revitalized.
Read all about it in the chat transcript below!

What do you think about these suggestions? ChatGPT is very bright, right?
We consider a lot of these ideas to be quite good!

User
Hello ChatGPT,
In my opinion, in recent years, there has been a lot of stagnation in the Hardcore Techno scene. People still listen to "mainstyle" and "uptempo", genres that have been around since ages, and the productions sound very similar.
Hardcore used to have meaning, now it's mostly just "dance" music for people looking for a cheap thrill.
Hardcore used to be very varied, with diverse genres like Techno, Acidcore, Gabber, even Breakcore, all sharing the same scene of enthusiasts under the umbrella term "Hardcore".
Nowadays the majority of releases follows similar ideas, even similar production techniques.

ChatGPT
Hey,
Absolutely, I'm on board with your perspective. The Hardcore Techno scene has indeed seen a bit of a homogenization trend. It's like everyone's playing it safe, sticking to the tried and tested formulas. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on breaking away from this and injecting some fresh energy into the scene. What do you have in mind?

User
Please give me some suggestions on how the Hardcore scene could change and improve.

ChatGPT
Alright, let's kick this off. Here are a few street-smart suggestions to shake up the Hardcore scene:
  • Embrace Fusion:
Mix things up by blending Hardcore with unexpected genres. Imagine elements of Hardcore with jazz, funk, or even classical. Break the mold and create a unique sound that's a fusion of influences.
  • Revive the Underground:
Reconnect with the roots of Hardcore by promoting more underground events and smaller venues. Create spaces where the true enthusiasts can thrive, away from the mainstream scene's commercial pressures.
  • DIY Ethic:
Encourage a DIY (Do It Yourself) ethos. Let artists experiment and produce without the constraints of commercial expectations. This could lead to rawer, more authentic expressions of Hardcore.
  • Bring Back Variety:
Diversify the sound. Reintroduce the eclectic mix of sub-genres. A scene that embraces various styles under the Hardcore umbrella will be more vibrant and exciting.
  • Storytelling through Music:
Hardcore used to carry messages, stories, and emotions. Encourage artists to use their music as a platform for expressing something meaningful. Move beyond the generic beats and explore the narrative potential of Hardcore.
  • Community Building:
Strengthen the sense of community. Collaborate with other artists, organize workshops, and foster an environment where producers, DJs, and fans can connect and exchange ideas.
  • Challenge Conventions:
Break away from conventional song structures and arrangements. Experiment with unconventional time signatures, intricate patterns, and surprising twists to keep listeners on their toes.
  • Visual Identity:
Work on a distinct visual identity for the scene. Artwork, visuals at events, and even clothing can contribute to a unique brand that sets the Hardcore scene apart.
  • Global Collaboration:
Connect with Hardcore scenes from around the world. Collaborate with artists from different cultures and scenes, bringing in fresh influences and perspectives.
  • Document the Scene:
Use blogs or e-zines to document the diverse aspects of the Hardcore scene. Share stories, interviews, and insights that go beyond just the music, exploring the cultural, social, and political dimensions.

These are just starting points, but the key is to inject creativity, diversity, and a sense of purpose back into Hardcore. What do you think?

User
let's go through this step by step. please tell me more about point 1

ChatGPT
Absolutely, let's dive into the first point: Embrace Fusion.

Embracing Fusion:
One way to breathe new life into Hardcore is by infusing it with elements from unexpected genres. Think of it as a musical gumbo, where diverse influences come together to create something entirely unique. Here's how you can approach this:
  • Explore Unlikely Pairings:
Encourage artists to experiment with combining Hardcore with genres that seem worlds apart. Picture the intensity of Hardcore blended with the free-form improvisation of jazz, the grooves of funk, or the intricate structures of classical music. These fusions can lead to groundbreaking sounds.
  • Cross-Genre Collaborations:
Foster collaborations between Hardcore artists and musicians from different genres. This not only brings in fresh perspectives but also opens up new audiences. Imagine a Hardcore producer teaming up with a saxophonist or a classical composer.
  • Incorporate World Music Influences:
Look beyond Western musical traditions. Infuse Hardcore with elements from various world music genres. Whether it's Middle Eastern scales, African rhythms, or Asian instruments, these influences can add a rich layer of diversity to Hardcore tracks.
  • Experimental Sound Design:
Push the boundaries of sound design. Encourage artists to experiment with unconventional instruments, samples, and production techniques. This can result in tracks that challenge the listener's expectations and offer a truly innovative listening experience.
  • Genre-Bending Events:
Organize events that showcase this fusion in action. Feature lineups that bring together artists from different musical backgrounds, creating an eclectic and dynamic atmosphere. These events can become hotbeds for creativity and cross-pollination of ideas.

The idea here is to break away from the predictability of traditional Hardcore and explore uncharted territory. By embracing fusion, you not only keep the genre fresh but also open doors to a whole new realm of sonic possibilities. What are your thoughts on incorporating fusion into the Hardcore scene?

User
excellent ideas! please also tell me more about point 3!

ChatGPT
Absolutely, let's dive into the third point: DIY Ethic.

DIY Ethic:
Encouraging a Do It Yourself (DIY) ethic within the Hardcore scene empowers artists to break free from commercial constraints and express themselves authentically. Here's how you can foster this mindset:
  • Independent Production:
Advocate for independent production and distribution. Encourage artists to produce and release music without being overly influenced by mainstream expectations. This could lead to more experimental and genuine expressions of Hardcore.
  • Home Studios and Experimentation:
Embrace the idea of home studios and encourage artists to experiment with their sound. DIY doesn't mean compromising on quality; it's about creative freedom. Artists can explore unique production techniques and push the boundaries of what's conventionally accepted.
  • Self-Released Albums and Tracks:
Support artists in self-releasing their albums and tracks. With the digital age, artists have more control over their music than ever before. This DIY approach allows them to directly connect with their audience without relying on traditional record labels.
  • Promotion through Social Media:
Utilize social media platforms for self-promotion. DIY artists can leverage these platforms to reach a global audience without the need for extensive marketing budgets. It's about building a direct connection with fans and creating a grassroots movement.
  • Collaborative Networks:
Facilitate collaborative networks among DIY artists. This can include sharing resources, knowledge, and experiences. By building a supportive community, artists can navigate the challenges of the industry together and maintain their independence.
  • DIY Events:
Organize and promote DIY events. This could involve artists taking the lead in event organization, from planning to execution. DIY events provide a platform for artists to showcase their work without the commercial pressures often associated with larger productions.
  • Merchandise and Artwork:
Extend the DIY approach to merchandise and artwork. Encourage artists to create their own merchandise and artwork that reflects their unique style. This not only adds a personal touch but also creates additional avenues for artistic expression.

By championing a DIY ethic, you empower artists to be the architects of their own musical journey. It's about reclaiming creative control, fostering independence, and embracing the diversity that emerges when artists are free to explore without constraints. 

User
I love these! I want to go through your other ideas as well.
please tell me more about 6.

ChatGPT
Absolutely, let's explore the sixth point: Community Building.

Community Building:
Strengthening the sense of community within the Hardcore scene is crucial for fostering a supportive and vibrant environment. Here are some strategies for building a stronger community:
  • Collaborative Projects:
Initiate and support collaborative projects within the Hardcore community. This could involve joint productions, remix collaborations, or even multimedia projects that bring together artists, producers, and visual creators.
  • Workshops and Skill Sharing:
Organize workshops and skill-sharing sessions. This creates a space for experienced artists to share their knowledge with newcomers, fostering a culture of mentorship within the community.
  • Online Forums and Platforms:
Create or support online forums and platforms where Hardcore enthusiasts can connect, discuss, and share their passion. This could be a dedicated blog or e-zine, allowing for a continuous exchange of ideas.
  • Artist Spotlights:
Shine a spotlight on individual artists within the community. Feature interviews, profiles, or showcases that highlight the unique contributions of different members. This not only recognizes their efforts but also encourages others to get involved.
  • Local Scene Support:
Extend your support to local Hardcore scenes around the world. Acknowledge and promote events, releases, and initiatives from different regions. This global perspective strengthens the sense of a unified Hardcore community.
  • Inclusive Events:
Ensure that events organized under your umbrella are inclusive and welcoming. Emphasize diversity in lineups, and create spaces where everyone feels represented and respected, regardless of background or identity.
  • Interactive Platforms:
Utilize social media and other interactive platforms to engage with the community. Encourage participation through polls, challenges, or fan-driven content. This involvement fosters a sense of ownership and belonging.
  • Supportive Labels and Collectives:
Collaborate with labels and collectives that share a commitment to community building. Joint efforts can amplify the impact of initiatives and create a more cohesive Hardcore ecosystem.

By actively building and nurturing a sense of community, you contribute to the sustainability and growth of the Hardcore scene.

User
I like all of these ideas. I will "digest" them mentally, and get back to you soon about them :-)

ChatGPT
Absolutely, take your time to digest the ideas. Whenever you're ready, feel free to come back, and we can continue discussing and refining these concepts. I'm here whenever you need to bounce off more ideas or dive deeper into any specific aspect. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Saturday, January 13, 2024

The Hardcore Overdogs e-zine turns one!

The Hardcore Overdogs is celebrating its very first anniversary!
This e-zine was started on Saturday, December 17, 2022

In order to celebrate this, here are some stats:

From the beginning of the zine to the day of this post, we have published 104 different articles.

Our articles have been read 16.201 times as a whole.

Our top 5 categories turned out to be:
  1. Features (47 articles)
  2. 90s Era (33)
  3. Contemporary Music (25)
  4. Releases (18)
  5. Reviews (16)

We've been involved in a variety of different projects, including:

Our very own "The Hardcore Overdogs" compilation on Omnicore Recordshttps://doomcorerecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-hardcore-overdogs-compilation

AI research regarding Hardcore, Techno, and music creation in general over at https://laibyrinth.blogspot.com/

The 90s Underground Hardcore Techno Resources and Information Archive https://thehardcoreoverdogs.blogspot.com/p/90s-underground-hardcore-techno.html

The Ultra Marine Audio Network https://thehardcoreoverdogs.blogspot.com/2023/11/introducing-ultra-marine-audio-network.html

The Mental Hardcore Health Newsletterhttps://thehardcoreoverdogs.blogspot.com/search/label/Mental%20Health

Doomcore-, Slowcore-, and Omnicore Records https://doomcorerecords.bandcamp.com/

and many, many, many more!

So, we hoped you enjoyed our first year as much as we did.
We gonna lose our babyteeth now, and promise to keep things up, and be as Hardcore as usual.

Woof!

Oh, and one more little extra: Here are the ten articles you read the most the last year!

#1. "Hardcore Never Dies" - a review and opinion on the 90s Gabber movie

#2. Interview with DJ AI - The first Artificial Intelligence Hardcore Techno DJ and Producer

#3. Hardcore Gamer: The use of Hardcore Techno in computer games past and present

#4. Interview with Aneurysm Recordings

#5. Announcing "Rave Rhapsody: The Hardcore Techno Odyssey" - an AI-generated computer game

#6. Introducing the 90s Hardcore Techno Tribute Mix Database

#7. When Aphex Twin went truly Hardcore: A look back at 7 early tracks

#8. The Legend of the Zombie Rave - A Doomcore Techno Horror Story written by an AI

#9. Hardcore on a C64: Pushing the Limits of Sound and Creativity

#10. We asked a chatbot AI to imagine how discontinued classic hardcore labels could have continued - these are the results!

Saturday, January 6, 2024

New Release: Angel Flo / Ics Xar - Hell On Earth EP (Rotten Dot Kom 01)


There is a new release out on the new Aneurysm sub-label Rotten Dot Kom.
But without further text on our part, let's hear the words by the label itself:

Hello Everyone!
It’s with great pleasure that we announce today the Artists who will take part in the first record of 𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐓 𝐊𝐎𝐌, our new sub-label.
As we revealed to you in the interview gave to The Hardcore Overdogs, the RDK releases are characterized by 2 Artists, each of whom will have one side of the EP.
For the first release we engaged 2 producers who are highly regarded in the underground scene: we're talking about the legendary 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎 and the master of noise 𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐗𝐀𝐑!!!

Let's talk about 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎: considered one of the historic producers of the French scene, he released his first tracks in 1996 on the Fraktal and Sans Pitie labels.
The following year his compositions were selected by his friend Armaguet Nad for 3 releases of the legendary label S.O.D.O.M. Slaves of Devil our Master.
In the following years he also appeared on other well-known French labels such as Dead End Records, Hardcore Intuitive Virus, Toth Recordings and Komum Records.
His tracks are mainly characterized by industrial and speedcore sounds mixed with dark atmospheres and remain without a doubt among the most appreciated and played in underground parties.
Here you can listen to his complete discography : https://soundcloud.com/rent_demon

L'et's go to the other side of the record: 𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐗𝐀𝐑.
Ics Xar is an Italian rising producer highly appreciated for his hardcore industrial and noise tracks. He made his debut in 2021 on the netlabel Speedcore Worldwide with "Cleaver EP", while in 2023 he was signed by HeadFuck Records and Narkan Records for some vinyl releases.
He recently made his stage debut @ Hard Traxx party with a live performance that left everyone speechless!
You can listen to his works on his Soundcloud channel : https://soundcloud.com/user-26346155

So get ready for a return to the roots with the insane, experimental and distorted vibes of the 90s!!!

Monday, January 1, 2024

Mental Hardcore Health Newsletter #5

Low Entropy has posted a NYE Message, and we felt it is very fitting to the Mental Hardcore Health newsletter and the topics and issues we generally address here, so we decided to repost it!

NYE Message - change the world, change your lives!

So here's my little message for you, to reign in the new year.
I know a lot of you out there go through a lot of pain right now. I know this, because you have told me - in mails, on messengers, and elsewhere.
Not just having a crisis, but that you are essentially getting emotionally choked to death right now. Into the deepest pain and the deepest void imaginable.

Let me tell you, this goes beyond the personal, individual level. The whole world is in a lot of pain right now. It feels like everything is going insane.

Now let me offer you at least a fragment of explanation for these feelings.
The world is changing. On a deep level. And life is, too.
But, people are still fighting this change. And this creates this feeling of pain.
Because people are desperately clinging to things that they are not able to hold on to. And wasting their energy and emotions beyond the point of exhaustion.
Let's give some examples.

People feel depressed and anxious at their workplace. And, indeed, the whole concept of work, attitude related to work etc. is changing right now.
Yet they still walk to their same shitty job every shitty day even though they know it's pointless, their job might disappear in a few years anyway, together with their saving money.
But they still wake themselves up each morning and get out of and bed and walk to a job that's killing them on the inside. For no reason at all.

Or they are stuck in a venomous relationship. They tear each other up, or get torn up. They know nothing changes, and it won't get better. But they still desperately stick to their relationship even though they know it will kill them.

Or they're in a subculture that was lively and exciting in the past, but is populated by numbed zombies and fuckheads now. Still, they don't leave, and change nothing.

Why do people do this? They are afraid of change. They are afraid of something new.
"Better the devil you know", "A new situation could be even worse", and more bullshit sayings like that.
But most importantly, people generally are unable to let go of things. Because, yes, it's true - it's very difficult to let go. It's very hard to start something new. To face a completely new situation.
And finally: Yes, you all are right! What you say is true. When you change something, when you change your life, it could indeed be worse than before. You could fail! You can fail horribly.

But that is not a reason to not at least *try* to change something.

You never have a guarantee for a good outcome in life.
But you should still dive head-first into the unknown.

If you hate your job. Quit it, and try something else.
If you hate your relationship. Quit it, and try something else.
If you hate your subculture. Don't accept it, change it.

That's the only way you will be able to free yourself from the choke-hold.
And this goes for every other area of life as well.

Because, believe me. Things won't get better and easier.

Remember how hard life already was in 2019?
The pain we went through in 2023 made 2019 pale in comparison, right?
Who can fathom how hard 2024 will be for us... and the years that follow - if we don't fight all of this!

So don't stick to things that torture you. Don't follow your routine every day, every month, every year, when you despite that routine.
Get out of situations that are harmful to, to your soul, to your mind.
Flee, fight, or change this stuff.

Yes, change is scary. Yes, the "unknown" feels frightening and the "pain that you are used to" feeds on your illusion of conformity.
And yes, you might even fuck up - at first.
But then get up again, wipe the sweat and blood away, and on to the next round.

I know you can win. I know *we* can win. It's easier than you think.
And when all this is past, you will realize it was much more difficult, and much more painful, to hold on - instead of letting go and moving ahead.

You are a brave, fierce little fighter. Like everyone is, deep in his heart.

I'm counting on you. I'm counting on all of us.


And now here is little additional advice.
If you really feel too frightened - or too uncertain - to tackle these big changes.
Then start by changing little things first.
Do *some* things that are a total breakaway from your routine, while still maintaining it.
Start looking online for new jobs, while sticking to your old job for a while.
Talk to others about your relationship problems even if you feel unable to get out of it at first.
Maybe this illusion of a safety net will help you, while these "small" things will show you that change is indeed possible and waiting for you out there.
Apply this to any other area of life that damages you.

Oh, and please don't get the impression that this text is about some self-help, feel-good kind of stuff.
I'm talking about deep, profound, burning, annihilating changes, that transform your life from the ground up - and the world!