Chechnya bans all music that is not within 80 to 116 BPM, and we just know the right genre for their parties: Slowcore Techno

The news set the Techno world into shock. Because, quoting CNN:

"Minister of Culture announced the decision to limit all musical, vocal and choreographic compositions to a tempo ranging from 80 to 116 beats per minute (BPM) at a meeting Friday, the Russian state new agency TASS reported. The new law was announced in a meeting on Friday."

We do not worry much about this, though, because we could still party hard with that new law. Party very, very hard. Because there has been a "new" electronic genre around for a while: Slowcore Techno.

Sometimes called the creepiest and most disturbing subgenre of Techno, it is marked by massively reverberated dis-harmonic synths, samples from occult ceremonies or true crime murder stories, industrial percussion, and, most importantly: massive, deep, growling, pounding, drums. And the whole thing is generally defined as "Hard or dark Techno music with a somewhat 4/4 beat running below 130 bpm". In this case, "running below 130 bpm" can mean a lot of things. And some Slowcore tracks are below 60, 30, or even 1 BPM .the slowest so far is the "A Quarter BPM Edit" of the track "Creeping Doom", which, as the name says, sports a meager 0.25 BPM.

Someone once remarked: "Slowcore? I guess that genre is for the type of people that shoot up glue instead of smack".

Of course, 1 BPMs are not allowed in Chechnya anymore.

But there are plenty of Slowcore tracks that fall right into the desired Spectrum.

So here is our list.

13 Hot Slowcore Techno bangers that could be played at wild wicked and weird rave in Chechnyan rave:

1. Kolium - Involved (100 BPM)
2. Der Cherep - Outburst (110 BPM)
3. Meta-Morph - Chosen One (Short Decision Mix) (80 BPM)
4. Ethereal Woe - Outside Is The True World (100 BPM)
5. Metalove - Lauernde Zähne Der Zeit (Taygeta) (90 BPM)
6. Soulkeeper - Time To See The Cunt Doctor (102 BPM)
7. Mirvcore - Scourging The Soul Till There Is Nothing Left (100 Bpm)
8. Origin Of Styx - Cannabis Indica (80 BPM)
9. Dedraver - Other People (99 BPM)
10. Vortex of Venomous Rhythms - In A Hallucinatory State (80 BPM)
11. Time Kanzler Green - Slowly Visiting Another Planet (96 BPM)
12. Meta-Morph - Birth Of Icy Andromeda
13. The Darkcreator - Emerald Planet (Future Dust Rmx) (100 BPM)

*note: While Slowcore music is real, it is not affiliated with Chechnya or any political government so far.

*note 2: and the whole feature should be understood with an added humoristic tone.