Mental Hardcore Health Newsletter #6
Being Hardcore with Mental Health Problems
Living your life with mental health problems is never easy. Opening up and talking to others about these - instead of trying to hide them away - is very hard for most people, too.
But there are some aspects that makes this even harder for Hardcore Heads with mental health issues.
Which is that Hardcore, the music, the people, the culture, pushes this image of being tough, rough, aggressive, bold, of dominance and power, of being a strong guy, a reckless maniac, with "balls of steel", death defiant and tenacious from head to toe.
Yet, if you are having problems like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder...
Well, let me put it this way: you don't feel very "Hardcore" if you run out of a supermarket in sweat & tears because you are having a panic attack.
Or if you can't move your feet out of bed because you're heavily depressed.
Or can't even return a phone call because of your social anxiety.
These things... make you feel more like being a wimp. a coward. frightened & soft. a weakling. not a person with balls, or ovaries, "of steel". not like like a hardcore avenger.
Now, this is problematic. Because how are you gonna deal with it?
It makes a lot of people attempt to hide away their problems. Projecting an image of being a tough gabber maniac to the outside world. while occasionally crumbling on the inside.
And all this makes it even harder for people who have mental health problems - especially when they are having very severe problems - to open up to others in the "scene", and talk freely about these things.
And this can lead to a situation when whole groups project the image of being a hard guy/girl/person to themselves and others, when actually a large percentage of them have these problems themselves.
How could we improve this situation?
First, the image of being a "macho terror killer" or some super tough gabber head without emotions and any weakness (except hate and anger) - you know what i mean - should be questioned.
in many cases this "being tough as nails", hardcore poser shit is a facade anyway, run by some big labels and small dorks; it's a marketing thing, similar to the "evil" metal bands or "violent" rap artists - and in these cases there is nothing behind it, it just appeals to the fools, ignore it.
why shouldn't you be a weak-ass nerd type with glasses and acne and a belly, that listens to gabber? for example.
that's the first... but it goes deeper than that. After all, there is a *rough* aesthetic and sentiment to hardcore - not just on a "poser" level. it's music with a quality of brutality, rebellion, defiance, roughness, domination, willpower... one can't deny that.
So.
let's just face the fact that life, humans, the world - are complicated. complex. varied. multiple, parallel and layered.
you can be tough, brutal, a rebel, a fear inducing techno ruffian - and still have a "wimpy", fearful side, that comes through in panic & melancholy.
your personality, psyche, and mind, is a cluster of content (or a labyrinth). fears, strengths, weaknesses, powers...
who cares, in the end!
having mental health issues does not make you any less "hardcore", or strong willed, or wall-breaking than others.
you can still be a fire walker. you can still be the storm.
so, my final advice:
try to accept all parts of your personality. your strengths and your weaknesses. your gabber soul, and that social fear, or whatever other "disorders" you might have.
and you have all the rights to show this to the outside world and tell others about this, and you will see, this will make you feel better.
and in the case that someone reacts like they can't handle your openness and honesty about your issues; then maybe *these* people are actually the true "weaklings"!
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